You piss the hell out of me. Stop expecting so much if you're not going to let me actually do what you want me to do wtfffff. I can honestly say life would be that much easier if you stopped interfering.
I don't know what I did in my past life but I have damn bad karma.
My internet usage right now sighhh so tired yet pretty accomplished- I'm done with the first draft of SSAA and I'm scared to reread it and edit. Going to take a Tumblr break then get back to it :D
Haha this made me quite happy! TODAY IS PUBLIC SLEEPING DAY.
I guess that means you sleep in public/ sleep in schooooool 8D
1:34 AM
#604; but my time would be wasting, they've got nothing on you
No ideas for English AA and it's due in two hours!! (And already late) So now I'm procrastinating and adding Chrome extensions odsinasoieprnb and listening to all of Kurt's uploads y i no disciplined :(
This week is going to be a fun fun week! I think. Monday: Homemaker + BE YOURSELF DAY I'm going to look like a mega retard I think BD Tuesday: Guides! AA Prep and teaching Sec1s the gay gay dance omg so excited. (SSAA submission) Wednesday: Bball match 8D Bet we'll end up eating somewhere after that heeheee. Thursday: Omg, am I free?! Friday: Is there Guides?
OMG I HAVE A FREE DAY. !!!!!
ANYBODY WANT TO GO CENTRAL GET $1 FRIES AND (try to) MUG?
10:02 AM
#601; if i said my heart was beating loud, if we could escape the crowd somehow
My battle plan failed :( Completely didn't do any written work yesterday because... I forgot, was I too tired? I guess I'll start on written work today and then slog out SSAA tomorrow while waiting for my sister to finish dance class.
Tomorrow's the first Sunday since the two Sunday's at RCTC with b11atch!
I miss those three days :( All our lunch planning and eating and getting bubble tea and smooth hair bandaging and escalator hoboing every time the teacher let us off two hours earlier than expected :)
Monday's Homemaker badge and the last of our three compulsory proficiency badges- after that it's just finishing the Gold badge and getting OSL hours approved and then we start on the real thing. Wow if this is just part of the prerequisites, the actual thing is going to be maaaad.
Be Yourself Day on Monday too and I'm pretty excited! Don't have a bandanna though- need to hunt for one/ ask my mum if she has any. I think b11atch has had BYD plans for so long but we've never really done it before; this is the first and last b11atch BYD synchrony!
And Cheer has been moving pretty slowly, I feel so bad for being so slack and all that. But then I feel badder being stricter and more focused in a way?
Founder's Day item in exactly a week hahaha must remember my steps or I'll end up looking stupid. Thank god I'm standing at the side though!! 8D Aaaand aiyo combined prac makes me feel so fat hahaha all of them so skinnehhh.
Then AA choreo after that with Rae and Hanin- Jocie, WeiYi, you guys are going to be so proud/amused of our choreo hahaha easiest and quickest choreo ever. I love gay songs!!
This is such a messy post but for the first time in a while I'm not actually thinking about something. Wonder what that means.
HAHA OKAY THAT JUST MADE ME THINK.
And seriously Doob, I know you're going to read this, I don't care if you have unlimited or not but omg stop spamming. 1. You write rubbish, 2. I don't have unlimited anymore cos my parents haven't renewed my contract :((( Cannot live without unlimited!!
6:31 PM
#600; who would have thought forever could be severed by the sharp knife of a short life
At home still sitting very sweatily in my (borrowed) Richardson shirt and FBTs haha don't call me disgusting, I'm lazy to go up and bathe!! Combined House Prac was good, with all the curtain groping and cake searching. I like combined items :)
SLI was... like all the rest, really. Laura you did good <3
Aiyo CMMEN when are we going to go out we keep pangseh-ing each other wth!
Not really in any mood to post now. Going to go shower + get started on homework pile soon. Then I can leave the weekend to chionging AA :( Hahaha Jas your battle plan sounded good so I decided to follow it!
So I guess now's when I start seeing people reduce their passion/ commitments into another plus point on their portfolio.
Really?
I'm thinking that maybe we shouldn't be spending our youth skipping over enjoyment or having an ulterior motive for everything we're involved in, in order to find security in a couple of years.
But what if that's the only way?
Come onnnnnnn.
--
On a sidenote, the Founder's Day GOH is Mendaki's CEO. Last Founder's Day and first year there's been a GOH that made was successful in community work, rather than the cliched lawyer/ doctor jobs they all expect us to get. It makes me happy :))
Aaaand recently in the newspapers there was an article on doctors who jack up their prices to insanely high amounts and as a result earn millions a year.
Again, really?!
Find some purpose in what you're doing and that purpose shouldn't be money. If you were to die tomorrow, money doesn't make your life a life well lived.
Future Maehanyi, please remember this.
2:58 PM
#598; I confused my feelings with the truth, because I liked the view
I hate it when you're talking to someone and then his/her mood just suddenly changes and you know you didn't say anything wrong and yet you're still wondering if it was something I said?
-insert old Avril Lavigne song here-
Happened today. And even though I admit sometimes I end up doing it to people it's a really confusing thing to go through :(
--
Oh and lately, I've stopped thinking as much. I think.
How I have stopped thinking so much: 1. Dismissing people who annoy me as... annoying people, so idc. 2. Not bothering to question the things people do because if I have to think so much into it they're not worth my time- I don't exactly understand my train of thought but it goes something like that 3. Filtering out my friends- I'm sorry that doesn't sound too good but I've never really had that many acquaintances either because I don't like talking to people I don't really know. So I really only talk to people I'm comfortable with and it's so much easier to know whose opinion you care about and whose you have no interest in? Those who mind dot matter and those who matter don't mind.
Secret to success -> happiness level ^
:D
10:03 PM
#597; I'm in love! I'm a believer, I couldn't leave her if I tried
Spent the whole bus waiting and riding time singing songs with B11ATCH! 8D I love how we know so many Guides songs (but not enough!!) then move on to NDP and nursery rhymes and Chinese songs and (omg everyone actually knows the lyrics) HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL!
Then the MRT ride scrolling through YinYu's playlist and skipping all the weird music she listens to and bouncing towns singing happy tunes on the train!
Tomorrow we'll compare voice power k, mine was so bad even before we started.
AND EVERYONE PASSED PIONEER TEST! I forgot the difference between pioneer and pioneering.
The last three days I've reached home at 8.30 and had dinner at 9 because of Guides, and I'm so damn lucky that Guides makes me happy :)
9:41 PM
#596; no blinding light or tunnels to gates of white, just our hands clasped so tight
Mendaki today was... good :) I like doing brainless mechanical work like packing/ formatting/ being anal, it takes your mind off things doesn't it.
Today I realised that I can't exactly count OSL as part of the CIP for PGA, because direct service was less than a month long. So now I have 6.5 hours from Mendaki and 2 hours from kidsREAD and I hate to know that the main reason I'm going back to do more CIP is because I need the hours? I honestly enjoy it a lot and I really really want to go back every week or something but it's highly impractical (lol since when did I become practical?) because I'm already so behind on so many things and by the time I get home there's barely time to do the rest of my work.
But- anybody wants to join me, two or three times a month? :) Aiya I hope this doesn't turn into another one of things I really want to do but never get to do.
Haha I think all my problems would be lessened by so much if my dad didn't insist on me going to bed so early. Though I can't really handle late nights either. And parents are always right aren't they.
...........no they're not.
And now that PGA applications is probably in March... haha we're all going to be so busy. But just remember why we're all doing this, what we're doing it for, who we're doing it for. And in the end who gets PGA it doesn't really matter because the process will be amazing and the process will teach us so, so much.
It's Thinking Day tomorrow and I hope that the contingent goes well- I never realised last year that it might have been my last year doing footdrill. I don't know if I've mentioned this before but I really really miss doing footdrill, as tiring as it is.
Then Pioneering test on Wednesday!!! First Aid was honestly an easy pass (but at the same time I believe we deserve it- as egoistic as it might sound- but we all put in effort and I'm really glad the entire class could pass together), and I don't know if we'll get the same luck for Pioneering but I'm so scared. :/
This is a pretty long post isn't it, don't know why so many things are running through my mind.
Oh and Doobie, lunch today was happy! Haha I think it was a good venting session for us + omg good fries.
I don't know how slow I am, but, watch these videos in order!!
Okay so Taylor Swift hid messages in all her songs in the Speak Now album, and the message is Adam- rumour has it she's referring to Adam Young, from Owl City.
So on Valentine's Day, he released this song:
OMG SOMEONE KILL ME NOW.
<3333333!!! GET TOGETHER ALREADY AND DON'T BREAK UP AND WRITE BITCHY SONGS K!!!!!
9:25 PM
#594; we can find more meaning in a camfire glow than we've ever found in a year or so
On My Honour, I will try, There’s a duty to be done, And I say aye, There’s a reason here, For a reason above, My honour is to try, And my duty is to love.
No one needs to know my name, If I’ve hurt someone, Then I’m to blame. If I’ve helped someone, Then I’ve helped me, And that’s the way, That it should be.
I’ve tucked away a song or two, If you’re feeling low, There’s one for you. If you need a friend, Then I will come. There’s plenty more, Where I come from.
Come with me where the fire burns bright, We can even see better, By its own light, We can find more meaning, In a campfire glow, Than we’ve ever found in a year or so.
We’ve a promise, To always keep, And sing day is done, Before we sleep, We’re Girl Guides together, And when we’re gone, We’ll still be a trying, and a singing this song.
On my honour, I will try, There’s a duty to be done, And I say aye, There’s a reason here, For a reason above, My honour is to try, And my duty is to love.
Today was pouch-making with Orchid- I swear I have the awesomest patrol mates ever haha they're so cute/ weird/ funny <3 We really really need a patrol outing soon!!
TD Contingent prac wasn't all too bad, the improvement was really quite significant and I'm proud of the sec 3s! They're really willing to learn/ change :) Good luck for Tuesday!
In a way I'm kinda sad that I don't get to be part of a contingent anymore. Ah well, win some, lose some eh.
After that was Milk Tea with Rae WX Ronald Nicole/ Hanj and Laura later. Haven't had an outing for so long and I love love love you guys :) I don't know what it is about Far East/ whatever we eat (or desperately try not to eat) but milk tea sessions are the best end to the week!
OH, and FOODCHUCK got... a hell lot of support for the badges. THANK YOU :) If you happen to see this + your class has yet to submit the orders, please find any FOODCHUCK member at 404 (E104) on Monday!
And tomorrow's going to be my first Saturday prac in a really long while. I'm excited. :)))
--
I don't know if you're trying to set yourself apart from us/ imagining yourself to be above us (what with your tone of voice and choice of words- do I really understand you anymore? Do I want to?), but just remember that no one's going to hold you back down if you're choosing to drift away.
I've been really really tired recently, I don't know why, sleeping before 11 and yet I can't seem to wake up on time/ stay awake in every lesson/ today I just slept through the whole bus ride and while it was really refreshing I'm still tired now. :/ And I've been really off track with my homework!!! :( Damn I need to get started soon - off the computer by 7, and not back on.
Oh, and March Camp logistics. I'm kind of scared to get started on it. .___.
Haha just wondering, does anyone watch The Two of Us? The Filipino dubbed show. Yesterday's episode was so sad I cried like five times in one hour LOL. (Yeah I'm getting off the comp at 7 to watch it. FML)
--
Today after school FOODCHUCK went to collect the badge order forms and !!!! The response was seriously amazing, some classes bought like >$100 worth, and so many teachers obliged to buying $16 worth of badges :) Though the bins are seriously still super failure but ah well I hope RGS gets there soon :/ I mean it's just about building a proper culture and it's not like it's that hard since apparently RJ segregates their food waste and it's not like anybody has trouble reading the signs right! Right.
Oh and today in school the smart aleck got owned. I am happy.
6:25 PM
#590; when the world seems to get too tough, bring it all back to you
I think I just agreed to perform for Ningxin's concert on the night of Sports Fest :( a.k.a. the night before AA.
LOL am I stupid or stupiddddd. (Heehee YinYu, "stupidest!!")
--
Spent majority of today being very pissed because I hate it when people don't keep to their word. It's not in your place to go around telling people what I told you in confidence and no way in hell can you say that it's your right to do so.
I honestly would go talk to her about it lah but wth that's just going to cause a bigger problem.
Nevermind, in a few months, I will (try to) show you.
--
Anyway FOODCHUCK collected 28.5kg of food from the donation drive!! :) I never was so proud of RGS before, honestly half the time I think the students are just too damn focused on on their grades and doing what they have to do in order to brush up on their portfolio/GPA to bother helping other people? And even when they do want to do so you can't even guarantee whether they're doing it to look good or because they really want to help.
But this time, this donation drive, was honestly- no strings attached, nothing to your name. And still they donated so generously :) (Though this girl strategically placed a $14.00 receipt for whatever item she donated LOL. Thank you though!)
So, for all those wondering how exactly this is related to our project, since we're focusing on food waste segregation, it's because we're working on the spirit of it. Because after all, it's a community project.
And I love FOODCHUCK x10000 I am just so incredibly amazed at how well we work together + how much fun we have even though like we were pretty much randomly put together!! Love you guyssss :)
8:17 PM
#589; you got a fast car, but is it fast enough so we can fly away/ we gotta make a decision, we leave tonight or live and die this way
Recruits are coming tomorrow!!! In all honesty I'm not that scared- I'm extremely excited because... I guess I'm not worried about the kind of impression Orchid will make on the lil'uns.
Haha to my dear patrol to whom the title is dedicated to: I haven't laughed so much in a while but it felt wonderful to be with you guys and I love how strange we all are. (Mayo's attempts at being gangsterish and Sarah's epic staring-contest face and Christina's constant background laughter that always manages to distract everybody when all else fails and Fang's subtle attempts at asking innocent questions haha don't you worry my dear we'll help you get his number eh (:) We're going to make our little Recruit be a very happy orchid yes yes. And and breaking news hahaha you guys aren't going to starve for March Camp because Mayo and I both passed firelighting today :D
[Jocie]
(Yes we passed firelighting!!! As did so so so many of b11atch I'm so proud of us- have I mentioned this before?)
Guess I'm going to have to ignore my homework and finish up the notebooks :)
Today was Guides Yo-Man! at Guides HQ, with Vanessa, Rae-Ann & Fang. I remember yesterday I told SuYun that I haven't gone out with my friends properly in such a long time, but today kind of made up for all of it! What with our McValue lunch rushing- Toa Payoh to J8 macs within 15 minutes; primary school-drawing skills (and all the consolation that came along with it); laughing (a bit too loudly) at all the real primary school drawings- I am Tom! I am Mary! HELP; singing every single song that came to mind.
Oh, and Fang asking me "Are you my PL?"
Hate you.
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY DARLINGSSS ♥ Thank you to everyone who returned my V-Day hug heehee I sound so sad.
Parent's Meet today. Kind of felt like the official end to our entire OSL journey? Guess it was, in a way. Still don't know how I feel yet.
Anyway I was thinking of OSL '11 and honestly how would we know if someone wants OSL for selfish gains, and what if we're poor judges of character? Idk. I really hope we choose a strong team to succeed us.
But actually, weren't we the ones who sat on the basketball courts and felt so damn bad that they helped us so much more than we helped them? That the one who benefitted most was us.
I can't really comprehend my train of thought now.
I think intentions, especially ulterior motives, complicate everything.
Just missed 11:02 on this special special day.
I love you OSL'10 :)
11:06 PM
#586; and we both stayed out till the morning light and we sang "here we go again"
然后他们说服我和amanda and roanna 到chegoh的家，看她刚刚找到的小猫。小猫的名字是猫猫（哈哈她真是个天才哦！）。它非常小，比我的手掌只大一点！它有黑色的手皮 （我有没有记错呢？），也很喜欢在沙发下面躲着。
我们玩 monopoly deal 但是没时间完成，就要回家了。
－
昨天是新年前夕，我在AA讨论后，我和明丽，jaslin, amandah 和 cheryl (pay) 到了Nex去吃午餐。我们其实要吃汽船（I am pretty sure that's not the steamboat I'm talking about but, works fine too)， 但是因为晚上会有团员饭， 就选择到薄饼Hut。我们买了一个大薄饼和三盘鸡。
然后我们走来走去，买了冰淇凌！
我写华文的极限到了， 真辛苦。
晚安。
新年快乐！
宁馨的华语真棒哦。
11:45 PM
#579; I don't want to walk this earth if I got to do it solo
granduncle: there was a dog in the drain outside and it was stuck so I called the police. anyway so then the bloody stupid policewoman asked me for the dog's license number and I said, woman, the dog is stuck in the drain. I cannot see his license number. I need you to come and get him out. and then the policewoman said, him? and I said yes, him. and the policewoman said: how do you know the dog's gender? and I said woman, stop putting the cart before the horse! and the policewoman sighed very irritably and said, can you get your facts straight please? and I said what? and she said, slowly, like I was stupid or something, the animal inside the drain, so is it a dog or a horse.
[Laura]
CNY today was like every other CNY, really. Visited the grandma in the morning, and just sat around as lunch got ready and set up the table/ used the phone/ tried not to sleep (after sleeping at 3.30 in the morning cos of... Doob. And filial piety LOL). Lunch with my grandma and three uncles.
After that we hovered a bit more and then my cousins (they're really old, they have kids our age) and all their kids came in with my closest aunt whom I love a lottt I realise, even though I never get to talk to her. She was... my childhood aunt ahah. And then my siblings and I retreated to the kitchen and sat there.
How much we didn't know each other was really quite saddening, but the thing is, I didn't seem to care. They're more than half my family (rabbits, I swear) but I just don't mind not knowing them.
Ah well.
So then about fifteen minutes into their arrival (and saying a few more words then Happy New Year! to one particularly friendly cousin) we just left, and then I looked at my uncles and aunts and it was just like... rush of emotions, really? Like in the midst of all that unfamiliarity I found someone I know.
Haha so emo.
But really.
:( If only I could speak teochew then I could talk to my ahma.
11:30 PM
#578; one night and one more time, thanks for the memories
1. Class camwhoring. I think my skills are getting way better. 8D I'm starting to like 404 a whole load more hahaha all the people who sit at the back and play monopoly deal and sleep and the other people who frown disapprovingly but help us anyway :)
2. Philosophy. I love this current topic (and every topic over the upper sec years, actually) haha I talk so much and so little sense I think 404 thinks I'm stupid now :( But oh dear I really want to take KI in JC and if I were to be completely unpractical (like always) I'd take KI, ELL, Geog and Chem (since I have some shred of practicality, yes, and chem is actually quite interesting) but I cannot give up Math!!! :(
It's okay one more year to think through it.
3. Roll Call! Well forgive me if I think it actually was pretty good. 8D
4. B11ATCH belting out every single song that came to mind after guides session next to a pretty scared Miss Lee hahaha I love you guys I don't care how bad our voices are or if somehow our volume fades to nothing everytime we reach the high notes WE SING WITH SINCERITY AND THAT MAKES UP FOR EVERYTHING right right right? Right.
5. Milk Tea after that yayyyy our little SL project and stupid jokes and hanjun's face.
Anyway CNY break is here and I am happayyyye 8D
9:50 PM
#577; when darkness turns to light, it ends tonight, it ends tonight
