#710; if I fail, if I succeed, at least I live as I believe
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Had a lousy sort of morning today - Tuesdays are generally angsty, tiring days with too much curriculum shoved into a six block day but today, well, two things.
I'm sorry for trying, but I don't and won't regret it, because I know why I did it and I stick by what I did.
I absolutely cannot stand the way that the entire cohort dissolves into a education-is-merely-for-grades mentality - in ten years I wouldn't give a shit about what I grades I got, I'd care more about whether I actually spent four years of my life learning something, because in an environment like this it's hard to learn anything for fun - just memory work of the best phrasing, the keywords, thrown together, get the marks, get the report card. Then what?
And in all this frustration and general annoyance and how contorted our education system has become, I walk down to the Guides table and on my way down I see Kana in her yellow-blue hoodie, I see Mel walking down with blue hoodie draped over shoulder, I spot Han Jun in the canteen crowd with another blue hoodie, and- I don't know how you guys brighten my day without even trying.
Session today, we're still trying to ease ourselves into our new roles, but I'll settle. PGA briefing was spent telling (not so) funny stories from Camp and man, I miss it so much. And, actually, part of the reasons why I wanted to try for PGA - I wanted the juniors to look at all nine of us and think, maybe it isn't that much of an abnormality/ tremendous leap to dare to sign up for it, because look at b11atch, they've got nine willing people. I don't know. But today about five people raised their hands and maybe that's not the glorious number we achieved (with too much enthusiasm, as always) but it's a start.
After session Rae Laura and I walked to Far East and on our way there we started with National Day songs and moved on to Avril Lavigne and Justin Bieber and general screamy songs and as a result screamed more than we sung (okay maybe just me) and - I love you guys, I love how spontaneous we are, I love how we never know what comes before 'on his guitar', I love how even when we don't know the words we know the tune and I love us!!
MRT ride home alone (for the first time in, well, forever) with uncrowded trains and boredom but - I'm going to borrow a Chinese book and start reading!!! GONNA BREATHE CHINESE FOR THE NEXT TWO AND A HALF MONTHS 呼吸呼吸！！！
Mugging tomorrow with FOODCHUCK. Been bouncing between groups of people when it comes to studying and well I've never been a very productive person, alone or with people, but somehow I get the feeling that we have more time for each other this EYA period than we will for a very long time to come - and productive or not, the least I can do is enjoy it :)
11:43 PM
