#654; a thousand different voices, sing in harmony
Saturday, May 7, 2011
And this is a post two days late but very necessary -
yesterday was generally quite miserable until I went back down for guides and sat with b11atch and moaned to them the terrible inequalities of the universe knowing full well I’d get over it in a matter of minutes and while the rest sat around not really knowing what to say mayo chimed in with her amazing hilarious suggestions after every sentence I had and at some point I realized I couldnt possibly stay mad, I couldnt stay upset in the face of mayo and her wonderful cheerfulness, and as I felt that I realized I’d been unsconsciously trying to stay angry, trying to cling on to my upset, and really could there be a more counterproductive use of someone’s energy? and yet we’re doing this all the time, when stuff happens we feel entitled to our anger (which we are, fully) but as we go deeper into it we keep holding on like stupid gits because we think it’ll give us some queer sense of comfort when in actual fact we’ve just overlooked, temporarily, the relief and joy of detachment and moving someplace happier.
mayo I never thought you’d teach me a life lesson (and I dont think you did either) <3
what really touched me after that: mayo and weiyi and yinyu went off for dinner and I was feeling particularly vulnerable and begging them, can you please wait for me? and they were like yeah sure, sure, and I was like but I’ll be latish, like 8 plus, and they were like don’t worry, we’ll wait for you. and I felt the way I had last year when they set so diligently and faithfully to helping take down the campaign structure: no guilt-tripping, no reluctance, just faith.
so after that I got to ion completely drained and the next one and a half hours was so perfect we just sat there like the pigs we are and spent about 75 percent of the time laughing at each other. after that on the train back to braddell nothing’s gonna stop us now shuffled on and it described what I was feeling perfectly. this certainty is exceptional. god blessed the broken road that led me straight to you.
A blockquote too long but it's full of good things (and praise) of one of the best nights of the year :)
Yesterday was an amazing, amazing day.
AA Prep involved a lot of slacking around the wooden table as we stalked for YouTube vids and attempted to mix and ended up teaching/ learning the AA dance and wanyaoing in little corners and laughing and walking around and finding dinner for $2!!!!!!!
And then when prep ended we migrated back to the guides tables and I looked at Vanessa and said "Aren't you excited!!!" and she asked, "for what, horseshoe?" and I said yes I love horseshoe and she gave me a weird look in her cute way hehe ronald I love you :)
Enrolment practice felt so surreal, in a way, standing among the recruits about to be enrolled, listening to them say the promise and wanting so badly to say it with them, and as I stood there I remembered my first enrolment and how when we returned back to our places Lathiga told us to fall out as she helped Shuwen and I wear our trefoils, and how it felt just standing there hoping that I remembered that
My honour means that I can be trusted to be truthful and honest.
I remember last year we thought that having Striping and Enrolment on separate days might kill the... full circle feel of having juniors being enrolled and seniors leaving within the same two hours, the same formation. But this year I'm so so so thankful that it's remained split into two days - it wouldn't feel right not seeing the recruits become Guides and at least being able to stay with them for the next two months or so before we have to leave.
And as we stood in the circle I felt myself getting more and more annoyed at the juniors who just won't treat this like proper footdrill - why won't you clench your fists why won't you hentak properly? And then I saw a recruit sigh to herself and I thought, when will they realise, when will they understand? That footdrill and ceremonies aren't the part of Guides that they should be dreading, it isn't when they think oh okay I'm going to pon so I won't have to wear my uniform. When will they (if they haven't already- I know some have and I am so so so proud of them) realise that it's a privilege to be a part of it all?
It's not something I can really put into words, it's just something you've got to learn on your own.
Then after session had ended we got our Pioneer and Emergency Helper badges and ahh they're going to be my greatest pride and joy - not because of what they represent but because the road to getting those two badges would probably be one of my best memories this year. The three full days of meeting at Plaza Sing, returning back there for lunch, and returning yet again to hobo under the escalator with food, with all the bandaging and whatnot hehe February was such a happy month :)
Then Laura dragged me off to the amphi and said I need to talk to you and as we sat there slowly b11atch started coming and sitting down and surrounding us and we listened to Laura (and she thought I was awesome hoho) and we tried to help and in the end we did what we always do- burst into song (not just any song, NDP songs) and scream them while playing monkey with a roll of masking tape 8D
And Milk Tea, like always, was amazing. Talked about juniors (because somehow we always end up doing that) and about the cute sec ones and how badly we screwed up Bio SPA and I love love love you guys :) Dinner was amazinger with Wei Yi and Yin Yu and we talked about so many things I forgot what and then Laura came and we talked somemore and the night was just amazing :)
I love Friday nights.
9:13 PM
