#524; they won't ask you why, they'll just watch you die
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Two things that pissed me off today (probably far more than it should have)
1. I honestly cannot stand the way people can be so competitive. I'm not even going to bother about being vague because I've said this right out to anybody who would listen, I've said this to the class probably way more angrily than I should have, and it's still bothering me. I didn't understand how 304 replied completely doubtlessly that
yes, they were playing to win and Cheryl and I just looked at them incredulously and asked, then how do you expect to enjoy yourselves? They replied, we have fun while aiming to win, in that we place everyone in a position they're best at, and we have fun playing to win.
I get where they're coming from. They think success brings people together. They said, last year 315 won netcarn, that's why they're so bonded. Sure, winning something quantifies your efforts. It proves that you work well together, it proves that you've worked hard for it, and you deserve it. You celebrate your success together. It brings you together, but only through celebration of that one success.
Because after that, nobody gives a shit whether you win or not. You wouldn't give a shit whether you win or not. Nobody goes, oh we won Netcarn. So now we're bonded.
Because the end never gives value to the process.
When your process involves dividing the class into playing and not , dividing the players into good and not (and emphasizing on the distinction because no, we need to stick to the rules and only let registered players play, but it's okay we're going to let a few players play every single game despite the three games rule, because they're good and we need to win), comparing
your own class to every other class in the level and seeing where you stand, practically sticking labels on everyone around you to decide
what works best for you to achieve the end, then success doesn't mean anything.
I don't get how she stood at the front of the class, and asked for
information. How she rattled out a long list of who's playing and who's not, what each class is doing, which netballers are and aren't playing for their class.
Nobody in their right mind would give a shit.
We're not Netball. Our worth is not determined by our success tomorrow. I've never understood why the PE teachers demand us to submit lists of who's playing what position, and ask us to discuss strategies.
We're a
class.
If there's anything wrong with our school, it's that somehow, everything is turned into a competition far more vicious than it should be.
I hope they learn something tomorrow.
Honestly, I'm extremely disgusted.
2. Today you were unreasonable. You were exactly what we discussed time and time again over the past year.
I understand your standards.
But that's not the way you should have done it.
You do not expose someone's weakness in front of people already fully aware of it. In front of people who shouldn't know it, and not because of selfish reasons.
I don't even know why I felt the way I did today, but I was very, very, very annoyed with what you did.
Three things that kept me sane today:
1. Cheryl. Your gayness is just very comforting hahaha, and I'm glad that someone sees things the way I do regarding that matter. <3 But stop sitting on me, wtf!
2. Nikita. I don't know but... I like how you were so neutral today. I don't really know what else it was, but, thank you (:
3. B11ATCH. Oh shit I don't know what I would do without y'all. Knee drawing + skit watching with HanJun, stargazing, sleeping in the rain, screaming at cockroaches, smelling smoke, patrol corner, fat comparing, etc etc etc I LOVE YOU ALL LIKE MAD THANK YOU <3
Hey Laura I miss you a lot I realised I haven't seen you in so longggg :(
9:10 PM
