#470; till all my sleeves are stained red
Sunday, September 19, 2010
remember the things that made you laugh. remember the things that made you cry.
what do they mean to you now?
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x]
friday night when we discussed private lives. when laura came back and said i swear that mirror really does make us look fat. twisting our phones at awkward angles to spy on people with the reflection. being an impostor. my brother imitating an annoying person with my stuffed lion. when you said something sweet. being paedo-ed at with a clueless shit that i love v v v much. when I was talking to you and realised that someone experienced the exact same things I did every quiet night. when we spent HBL on oovoo and skype and msn. when I lunched out with you and we pigged and felt guilty about how the food came on the table and ate anyway. when you texted me and said omg i got on the wrong train. when I got so mad at you and you said that one line. everytime we go to pizza hut and update each other on our lives and turn into big camwhores. ninny waking up halfway through our camspam session hahah. all my friends. milk tea outings. b11atch. jumpshots. power showers when sticky. eating oranges.
being controlled when you were being unreasonable. mad that you couldn't trust me. when you don't let me grow up. when you dictate my life. getting so disappointed, by expectations. hurting the people I love. going to bed angry that you hurt me again, and i let you. remembering what was gone and what would be too, soon. listening to songs that put into words exactly what i was feeling, and i knew so many other people were, too. thinking about what was to come. watching soppy movies and never really knowing what it was that hits me so hard. hoping wishing wanting.
It was so much easier to think of what made me cry.
I don't know why but the things that made me cry are making me smile more than the things that made me smile.
What do they mean to me now?
9:29 AM
