#454; I won't fall out of love
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Recently things have happened and I've asked myself if it's because of what I said/what I did/how I responded. I don't know why I'm different around different people (the more caps and smiley faces and spammage = the more comfortable I feel around you I guess) and that's going to change.
I am me. I am not willing to change for you.
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today also I was fixing up the broken ironing board hinge with twine. my sister watched me square lashing and felt the knot and said wow I’m impressed. and my father came in and went wow that is one helluva knot (and my mother came in and went wow isn’t that a bit extra why couldnt you use tape- but that is not the point) and at that point I just sat back and looked at it and I thought about just how proud I am to be a guide. I love raffles guides, but above and beyond that I’m proud to be a guide. through my journey in guides in RGS I’ve gone through a lot of different emotions about it but I know this one’s here to stay. I may not have a great specific talent that guides helps me develop- I don’t dance, I don’t draw, I don’t play a musical instrument unless chopsticks on the piano counts, I don’t act, I don’t run or jump or bowl or even hold a badminton racket the right way- but I can mend things, I can get a fire going without solid fuel (take that obs 8D), I can build shoeracks and put up tents and be useful. most of all I can be prepared for anything that comes my way. how many more important attitudes are there that you can have the privilege of arming yourself with? I don’t believe in pressuring people to join guides (or pressuring people to do anything, actually) but I know I’m really, really very proud to be a guide. I think it’s a massive honour that I am a member of this sisterhood. we’re not just a uniformed group. when I think about guides it goes beyond just a CCA in just my school- it’s not just about batch, or about patrol, or about raffles guides- it’s about us playing our own little important roles in a powerful movement that was started on the basis of empowering girls to be the best they can and that lives on into the future supported by millions of eager hands around the world.
silently each guide should ask
have I done my daily task?
have I kept my honour bright- shall I guiltless sleep tonight?
have I done and have I dared everything to be prepared?
(and I know i’m not the only one who feels this- every once in a while mayo/weiyi/jocie/vanessa ronald/other b11atchmates whose blogs I don’t follow as persistently break/dissolve on their blogs in these grateful posts full of love)
Laura you are mad and I love you so much.
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DAY FOUR: Seven things that cross your mind a lot1. The song that's stuck in my head for that one day.
2. What time is it now hahaha
3. Replays of old conversations (I know it sounds weird but it's more of like... eh I haven't seen ______ in a while when was the last time we talked OH)
4. People who at that point in time have made me feel some for of emotion, whatever it is.
5. Oh shit I forgot _________
6. What am I staying back for tomorrow? 8D
7. (This is getting hard, I don't really remember my thoughts) I'M BORED.
8. Who's online?
OMG THAT IS HOW SAD MY LIFE IS.
Okay less sad than Japanese Guy who married video game girl yes yes :D
You know sometimes I read through my old posts and most of the time I remember which person/circumstance I was talking about/directing my post at? And then I wonder how it could have left such a great impact on me, and when I'll really forget what it's about. I remember too many things :(
Hahahaha Doobie is wearing Auntie Autumn Collection 2010 shorts I am very amused:
AND THE BOSS JUST CALLED AND TOLD ME THAT THEY'LL START AFTER I ARRIVE WHICH MEANS EITHER THERE'S NO ONE WHICH THEN RENDERS MY DAO AHMA FACE USELESS OR EVERYONE BUT ME AND NING ARE THERE MEANING THAT THE MOMENT I STEP INTO THE ROOM THEY'LL ALL BE JUDGING MY AUNTIE SHORTS I AM V STRESSED
9:44 AM
