#292; a word's just a word till you mean what you say
Friday, March 19, 2010
3, 2, 1: Action!I know that we're all very different but I just hope from the bottom of my heart to the tips of my toes that we'll be able to put aside our differences, put a little more heart in guides, try to get along with each other and make an effort to go the extra mile out of our comfort zones.
[
Jocie; March Camp 2009]
I was thinking, "At least someone else in B11ATCH thinks the same way." and I realise how (amazingly) bonded we've become after last year's batch talk about becoming more bonded, and this year they give us a batch talk telling us exactly the opposite? I understand that they don't mean to make us feel this way but it's hard when you feel like we've come so far and climbed so high and become one of the most phenomenal batches in every way and now we're supposed to step out of this close-knit family, everything we've worked for, and outshine the rest while at the same time keeping your place? Power does ruin people. And I remember being told this last year, that if our friendship is really as strong as we believe it to be, nothing between us is going to change even if things have to change. But it feels like betrayal, working for yourself and not a group anymore, though you know that indirectly it's for the good of the group but directly- it breaks my heart so badly to have to let go and fly solo. I realised too that this is where guides is really a league apart from all the other ccas, the other UGs. It's the whole idea of a sisterhood in guides, that you're part of something bigger than yourself.
I hate having to say this but I guess what they're saying is, some things you just have to do on your own. (Whether I can actually bring myself to do it, to break out of the comfort and security of knowing that batch will always be on the same level as you, be there for you, never let go of you; I need more time before I can give an answer) It's like we're in a circle holding hands now and even if anyone lets go the people next to you will reach right out and catch you and haul you back up. But what if you step upwards instead of down, what if you go too high and the people next to you can't reach you? Because not everybody can fly.
[
Jocie; March Camp 2010]
I don't know how to say this but it feels so, so heartening that no matter what, no matter what they say what we have to do whatever challenge we've been posed with, we're still united - in the way we think, the way we feel, the way we believe and the way we love. And I think we will all take heart in the fact that even if they told us to change, to stop being bonded (though they never will), to stop doing whatever it is we do now, we never will, I don't think we can, and I'm glad we can't.
And it's not that you have to step out of this family. It's like how your family members go out of your house each day, and all of you go out to embrace your school, your friends, society in general, but at night, you'll still return back home.
I think,
I think I'm starting to understand. We can't do everything together - if we were to cross a thin wooden bridge that could only hold one and only one person, we can't troop onto it altogether holding hands and singing songs, we have to go, one by one headfirst into this challenge, and the rest of b11atch can only stand by the side with only moral and emotional support to give, and trust that each and every one of us will be able to cross that bridge safely, and cross that bridge such that when we reach the end of it we'll still have our great big safety net of b11atchies and only then can we sit down and sing complicated Peace Like A River songs and stay as Lyrics.com and watch Amelia demo Pearly Shells as the rest of us stare at her weirdly/snigger behind our hands. It's like, we have to lose each other first (though physically, and only physically), but understand, and have trust in the fact that we
will be doing this together, even when we aren't all physically there to support each other. Trust, because that's what friendship forms, and that's how friendship grows.
March Camp was really good, food was good, 02 Sunflower is Very Power in finishing up our bread/spreads! (OMG this sentence rhymes a lot). Didn't really get to experience the station games because Hanin/I station mistress-ed for the balloon one (it's really very amusing/interesting to watch people lift up balloons with their knees all the way up the amphi steps), our campfire performance was .. :D, I loved the song parodies (they should totally be published on the guides website for like everyday reference). Sec 4s impression of us was ... :D :D :D, two ponytails was.. quite true HAHA, though we took them off like five minutes later, most of the Guides Room painting was.. embarrassingly accurate, some was completely made up (!!), but I loved the Sec4s portrayal of all the levels. (We so should do it next year) (I wonder who our batch's scary CL will be - they get made fun of the most ("you still love me, riiiight?" "20 jumping jacks!"
"if you're not sick of it, we are.") KINGFISHER/BOUGY'S PERFORMANCE WAS AWESOME HAHAHA (:
Patrol Lunch was Shaw, I stupidly ate Macs with my Very Sore Throat, and Elissa is such a sweet new recruit! (: (though oldest child, no maid, helps mum with chores, has a 5-year old brother = NO WONDER) Somehow I feel closer to Sunflower than I have the past few years - talking to them is much easier and so much less awkward, and Wenxin/Jamie you missed out okay! ): At least we still have March Camp 2011 (:
Outdoor cooking (yes I have no sense of order and chronology) was good! I like indoor cooking :D The chicken was nice, but next year we are so bringing butter! And ready made lasagna. And anything else NTUC :D Elissa was such an angel she willingly washed everything I love love love her!
Meal rings are nice, it's kind of hard to eat but when I was eating dinner late on Day 2 because of campfire prep and sitting on the table, it just felt so.. distant, and so excluded from the rest. It's like, when you sit in a meal ring and you look at the gigantic eating circle that you're a part of and it's like... wow, this is us. We are Guides. That kind of feeling (: And you know the person next to you the person opposite you the person over there, there and there and it's really like
family.
Night surprise was.. interesting (: Haha zhiqi was very funny she had a very cool scary pose, like hanging on this thick rope, but we went to poke her and she stood up and said indignantly "eh cannot like that okay!" Rain was a very scary convincing person, Shuwen and XiaoTong were very cute huggable ghosts, and the whole surprise was really fun :D It makes me think of Amazing Race!
I love love love Guides Camps (:
But it really really sucks to realise that this is it, we've gone through three years of March Camps, and next year,
our last year is our year. I was so excited at first like, we get to plan our own March Camp/AA/Urban Hike/Rural Hike/etc etc etc! And then you realise, planning it is very very much different from simply coming on Day 1, attending camp, and leaving on Day 3 - it isn't a bad different, it's an.. exciting different, but it still isn't.. nice, to realise that this was our last camp being on the other side of it. (though some b11atchies were sub-i/cs!)
(Which was why I looked depressed la, but no I wasn't!)
Overseas Service-
Learning Selection Camp was.. :)
7:32 PM
