#291; I will remember
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
I said I'd post about March Camp but I can't bring myself to do it now ):
Not that it was bad, it definitely wasn't, it was a really enriching experience that I should save for another day, but as of now I feel more confused and lost then I have in a really long while, like how we've worked together for one year plus plus plus to achieve what no batch has before and now there's a new set of rules, a new set of guidelines, something completely opposite to work toward, I'm not complaining, I'm definitely not, I'm just very very very confused - I understand what they want us to do, why they want us to do it, the reasons for them telling us this, but it doesn't feel right.
It's like I've always looked at UGs as somewhere you enjoy being in, because you know that no matter what you'll have your batchmates there supporting you - staying up till unearthly hours to complete proposals, discussing the very very far future (maybe not that), listening to your every story, exchanging very significant looks with, and sitting in random gay circles and bursting out into song because you know that we'll all join in with the appropriate actions, and right now I really cannot imagine individuality in the picture, because in UGs we're all family, we sacrifice for family, we enjoy this family, we love this family, and individuality sounds like we're ditching this family for our own gain or whatever. I sound overly dramatic etc but I'm very confused la it's like, yes this is something we need to work on, not something bad we've done, but working on it doesn't feel right, because it's not what we're used to and it's not what I think we should be, but then we have to, we must, because they probably know best and maybe this is the only way to ensure that Guides will be passed on to safe hands, to people who can work on their own, yet return to the comfort of their batch anytime, but somehow the thought that keeps resurfacing in my mind is "we'll work on this together, at least we have each other" and then I realise that isn't this what we're trying to dispel - over-reliance?
Tonight I will think. More.
8:25 PM
