While at the zoo, I noticed the scientific name for a Western Lowland Gorilla is Gorilla gorilla gorilla. Glad to know that scientists are so creative these days. MLIA
HAHAHA I LIKE :D
Gigantic binging session today at Macs! (Doob, next time we should go somewhere vegetarian D: ) Didn't manage to pick punk, and it just rained at my house omg ): Tomorrow. Lunch!
OH DISCUSSION TOMORROW (: OH will be cool yes it will. Even the powerpoint slides! :D:
According to my schedule I should have started CmPS ten minutes ago doobiedoobiedoo I told you not to nap! D:
5:47 PM
#300; tied together with a smile but you're coming undone
Today, I found out through a friend who works at the hospital that a few pints of my blood that I donated to the blood bank last week was used to save my sister’s life after she got into a near-fatal car accident last night. MMT
Maehanyi says: (PM 07:51:18) you know what i'm going to incorporate body waves in the dances guys cannot do i show them dbsk then i ask them YOU WANT TO BE LIKE THEM
Koh says: (PM 07:51:46) LOL
Maehanyi says: (PM 07:51:48) OR YOU WANT TO BE LIKE... YOU (insert disgusted face)
Koh says: (PM 07:51:53) LATER THEY SAY DBSK TOO GIRLY
Maehanyi says: (PM 07:51:55) HAHAHA 8D WTH! THEN I TELL THEM GO DIE D< shit
Koh says: (PM 07:52:08) Hahahaha
Maehanyi says: (PM 07:52:08) why am i defending your darlings
Koh says: (PM 07:52:11) I've converted you!
Maehanyi says: (PM 07:52:13) DBSK = GAY HOMOS I DON'T CARE GAY HOMO GAY HOMO
Koh says: (PM 07:52:20) Right.
Maehanyi says: (PM 07:52:57) GAY HOMO!
Koh says: (PM 07:53:15) Mmhm.
Maehanyi says: (PM 07:53:40) OMG KOH WEI YI I HATE YOU.
Eeyer recruits becoming anonymous again D< (okay I'm just annoyed by accusatory tone of the tag, yes that must have been very painful but say something!! haha jocie you said it so well!)
Mugging for chem isn't nice. ): I'm cramming everything to do with Atomic Structure & Bonding in like, today, die man D: And nobody's submitting their edited proposals!
Haha sorry I like broadcasting my pain across the Internet, it kind of .. helps - Laura!
Commonwealth Essay is D< The topics this year are so weird!
AND... I haven't tested out everything yet, every function, I have yet to see it's performance for the next ten weeks or something, but, I think my iPhone is good as new! :D
Today, after eating lunch, I walked out of a restaurant carrying a box of leftovers. A homeless man came up to me and asked if he could have some of the food. I ignored him and kept walking. Two minutes later, I tripped over a curb and spilled the leftovers all over the sidewalk. MMT
I know that we're all very different but I just hope from the bottom of my heart to the tips of my toes that we'll be able to put aside our differences, put a little more heart in guides, try to get along with each other and make an effort to go the extra mile out of our comfort zones.
I was thinking, "At least someone else in B11ATCH thinks the same way." and I realise how (amazingly) bonded we've become after last year's batch talk about becoming more bonded, and this year they give us a batch talk telling us exactly the opposite? I understand that they don't mean to make us feel this way but it's hard when you feel like we've come so far and climbed so high and become one of the most phenomenal batches in every way and now we're supposed to step out of this close-knit family, everything we've worked for, and outshine the rest while at the same time keeping your place? Power does ruin people. And I remember being told this last year, that if our friendship is really as strong as we believe it to be, nothing between us is going to change even if things have to change. But it feels like betrayal, working for yourself and not a group anymore, though you know that indirectly it's for the good of the group but directly- it breaks my heart so badly to have to let go and fly solo. I realised too that this is where guides is really a league apart from all the other ccas, the other UGs. It's the whole idea of a sisterhood in guides, that you're part of something bigger than yourself.
I hate having to say this but I guess what they're saying is, some things you just have to do on your own. (Whether I can actually bring myself to do it, to break out of the comfort and security of knowing that batch will always be on the same level as you, be there for you, never let go of you; I need more time before I can give an answer) It's like we're in a circle holding hands now and even if anyone lets go the people next to you will reach right out and catch you and haul you back up. But what if you step upwards instead of down, what if you go too high and the people next to you can't reach you? Because not everybody can fly.
I don't know how to say this but it feels so, so heartening that no matter what, no matter what they say what we have to do whatever challenge we've been posed with, we're still united - in the way we think, the way we feel, the way we believe and the way we love. And I think we will all take heart in the fact that even if they told us to change, to stop being bonded (though they never will), to stop doing whatever it is we do now, we never will, I don't think we can, and I'm glad we can't.
And it's not that you have to step out of this family. It's like how your family members go out of your house each day, and all of you go out to embrace your school, your friends, society in general, but at night, you'll still return back home.
I think, I think I'm starting to understand. We can't do everything together - if we were to cross a thin wooden bridge that could only hold one and only one person, we can't troop onto it altogether holding hands and singing songs, we have to go, one by one headfirst into this challenge, and the rest of b11atch can only stand by the side with only moral and emotional support to give, and trust that each and every one of us will be able to cross that bridge safely, and cross that bridge such that when we reach the end of it we'll still have our great big safety net of b11atchies and only then can we sit down and sing complicated Peace Like A River songs and stay as Lyrics.com and watch Amelia demo Pearly Shells as the rest of us stare at her weirdly/snigger behind our hands. It's like, we have to lose each other first (though physically, and only physically), but understand, and have trust in the fact that we will be doing this together, even when we aren't all physically there to support each other. Trust, because that's what friendship forms, and that's how friendship grows.
March Camp was really good, food was good, 02 Sunflower is Very Power in finishing up our bread/spreads! (OMG this sentence rhymes a lot). Didn't really get to experience the station games because Hanin/I station mistress-ed for the balloon one (it's really very amusing/interesting to watch people lift up balloons with their knees all the way up the amphi steps), our campfire performance was .. :D, I loved the song parodies (they should totally be published on the guides website for like everyday reference). Sec 4s impression of us was ... :D :D :D, two ponytails was.. quite true HAHA, though we took them off like five minutes later, most of the Guides Room painting was.. embarrassingly accurate, some was completely made up (!!), but I loved the Sec4s portrayal of all the levels. (We so should do it next year) (I wonder who our batch's scary CL will be - they get made fun of the most ("you still love me, riiiight?" "20 jumping jacks!" "if you're not sick of it, we are.") KINGFISHER/BOUGY'S PERFORMANCE WAS AWESOME HAHAHA (:
Patrol Lunch was Shaw, I stupidly ate Macs with my Very Sore Throat, and Elissa is such a sweet new recruit! (: (though oldest child, no maid, helps mum with chores, has a 5-year old brother = NO WONDER) Somehow I feel closer to Sunflower than I have the past few years - talking to them is much easier and so much less awkward, and Wenxin/Jamie you missed out okay! ): At least we still have March Camp 2011 (:
Outdoor cooking (yes I have no sense of order and chronology) was good! I like indoor cooking :D The chicken was nice, but next year we are so bringing butter! And ready made lasagna. And anything else NTUC :D Elissa was such an angel she willingly washed everything I love love love her!
Meal rings are nice, it's kind of hard to eat but when I was eating dinner late on Day 2 because of campfire prep and sitting on the table, it just felt so.. distant, and so excluded from the rest. It's like, when you sit in a meal ring and you look at the gigantic eating circle that you're a part of and it's like... wow, this is us. We are Guides. That kind of feeling (: And you know the person next to you the person opposite you the person over there, there and there and it's really like family.
Night surprise was.. interesting (: Haha zhiqi was very funny she had a very cool scary pose, like hanging on this thick rope, but we went to poke her and she stood up and said indignantly "eh cannot like that okay!" Rain was a very scary convincing person, Shuwen and XiaoTong were very cute huggable ghosts, and the whole surprise was really fun :D It makes me think of Amazing Race!
I love love love Guides Camps (: But it really really sucks to realise that this is it, we've gone through three years of March Camps, and next year, our last year is our year. I was so excited at first like, we get to plan our own March Camp/AA/Urban Hike/Rural Hike/etc etc etc! And then you realise, planning it is very very much different from simply coming on Day 1, attending camp, and leaving on Day 3 - it isn't a bad different, it's an.. exciting different, but it still isn't.. nice, to realise that this was our last camp being on the other side of it. (though some b11atchies were sub-i/cs!) (Which was why I looked depressed la, but no I wasn't!)
I said I'd post about March Camp but I can't bring myself to do it now ):
Not that it was bad, it definitely wasn't, it was a really enriching experience that I should save for another day, but as of now I feel more confused and lost then I have in a really long while, like how we've worked together for one year plus plus plus to achieve what no batch has before and now there's a new set of rules, a new set of guidelines, something completely opposite to work toward, I'm not complaining, I'm definitely not, I'm just very very very confused - I understand what they want us to do, why they want us to do it, the reasons for them telling us this, but it doesn't feel right.
It's like I've always looked at UGs as somewhere you enjoy being in, because you know that no matter what you'll have your batchmates there supporting you - staying up till unearthly hours to complete proposals, discussing the very very far future (maybe not that), listening to your every story, exchanging very significant looks with, and sitting in random gay circles and bursting out into song because you know that we'll all join in with the appropriate actions, and right now I really cannot imagine individuality in the picture, because in UGs we're all family, we sacrifice for family, we enjoy this family, we love this family, and individuality sounds like we're ditching this family for our own gain or whatever. I sound overly dramatic etc but I'm very confused la it's like, yes this is something we need to work on, not something bad we've done, but working on it doesn't feel right, because it's not what we're used to and it's not what I think we should be, but then we have to, we must, because they probably know best and maybe this is the only way to ensure that Guides will be passed on to safe hands, to people who can work on their own, yet return to the comfort of their batch anytime, but somehow the thought that keeps resurfacing in my mind is "we'll work on this together, at least we have each other" and then I realise that isn't this what we're trying to dispel - over-reliance?
MARCH CAMP TOMORROW MARCH CAMP TOMORROW MARCH CAMP TOMORROW
MARCH CAMP TOMORROW
(all things good must come in pink 8D or as close a shade as possible HAHA)
Going to reach there at seven so I can help Amelia pack her First Aid Kit and try and pick some punk (that sounds so funky!) because I think the tree that used to be my Source is either completely dead or growing younger!
Packed my bag already (one bag! ONE BAG! FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE ONE BAG!), but I'll be carrying an extra bag of uniform parts, and two extra bags of food/logs stuff, and one paper bag of newspaper and aluminium foil (okay maybe that makes it two bags, BUT MY PERSONAL STUFF =ONE BAG!!!)
Everything's in caps because I am HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY OMG 8D
Must remember to pack my extra bags, check whether everything's in my first bag (better be!), make the list of recruits who need their cord/penknife/whistle, pack the games stuff, PACK THE RECEIPTS OMG.
AH AH AH NEXT POST WILL BE A LONG LONG POST (i hope)
Rained again, and I keep missing punk picking opportunities! D: (I hope there even is punk in the garden!)
Recruit Shopping List Games Comm Proposal (for the first draft) TWO BIG THINGS DONE DONE DONE! :D heehee late nights feel so worth it, though the proposal isn't actually perfect yet!
Left with a lot of chinese, math, geog, etc etc etc, need to get to it by tomorrow latest!
GUIDES CAMP IN TWO DAYS! 8D 8D 8D selection camp in five days! O: Haha in five days I will find out what they locked me in the guides room for O:
Off to pack!
8:55 PM
#287; to rid yourself of vanities and just go with the seasons
In the hospital, I passed Cynthia's room, a baby girl with cancer.
Due to her family living far away and having no car, she's spent most of the past year getting treatment alone in the hospital. Tonight, I passed her room and her dad lay in her bed rocking her to sleep. He walked across town just to kiss her goodnight.
A fathers love GMH
4 years ago my best friend died due to gang violence.
He wasn't part of a gang; I was. He saved my life. At his funeral his mother came up to me. Rather then blaming me, she told me she thought I had a lot of potential. I now live a violence free life and I'm in college.
My best friend Carlito GMH
I met a 16 year old genius who was in medical school, studying to be a pediatric neurosurgeon.
He put every dollar he made at his job into a retirement fund. Why? He wanted to be able to retire at age 30, so that he could spend the rest of his life performing brain surgeries for free.
His philanthropy GMH.
About a year ago,I had a party at my house.
I was a little nervous about having people come over because my younger brother has autism and bipolar mania.
When my little brother wanted to come in to tell my friends about Pokemon,all the others told him to leave. Then my best friend stood up and took him to another room to talk about Pokemon. She GMH.
2. Please note that you are in a public place and thus refrain from being a public place
HAHAHA little things like these make me feel very happy when I'm probably going to stay up late late late editing proposals! (it sounds oddly fun I think there's something wrong with me)
I guess I only started really properly thinking about it when rei mentioned it last year- it scares me how there are people I’ve physically known for years and years and years, never stopped being in contact with for those same years- and yet I don’t know a thing about them- I know every ridiculous detail, from when and where their tuition is, and how many pairs of leggings their sisters have, to how long they had on braces for- but it nags at me that despite all this useless macroknowledge I don’t actually know them. i guess there are some creatures we can’t quite unlock, not even with time.
Took the longest walk home today and I realised today that living crazy far from school really isn't that bad, I get a lot of alone time, to think.
A lot of things to do but I'm still here because tomorrow's a free day = I will stay up late slogging like shit trying to finish the proposal and I will, I will.
And another thing I realised it's hard to relate to people without a passion. And distance really makes the heart grow fonder; I miss you all like crazy ): But it's our passion pursuing that brings us together (I've never seen it like this before), and it's our lack of time that keeps us apart.
(And it wasn't morning moodiness, today I really was sad but it's hard to say that outright)
Founder's Day in the morning, completely screwed up the backup dancing (I take like one week to learn dances .__.), but at least I was hidden behind Shinae! Camwhored like crazy with Steph's Mac, and videowhored too L O L. Shaw with Doob Cheryl Rachel, didn't watch Alice in Wonderland because it was overpriced, so went to doob's house instead. AWESOME FUN HAHA, played payday at like major speed ("WHY ISN'T THE DICE ROLLING FASTER FASTER" "EH GIVE ME $200" "TAKE YOURSELF") while watching Fab Five (they're like total bitches okay, why do you all like them!!)
Left at 5.30 because I felt very guilty that I was depriving people of proposal rushing time because I hadn't sent out the email! (see la the things I do for you all, rush home to send emails and look stupid on Founder's Day because I ponned cheer prac for discussion heehee)
Friday was discussion + some cheer prac! Went for about twenty minutes of prac then went back for discussion, left for another twenty minutes then came back again! Discussion was okay la, not awesomely productive (we wanted to finish the entire proposal then) but in the end just decided games but at least that was done! Still can't remember all their names but at least I know games comm people :D
