I have straight hair now! And for the first time, my fringe isn't TOO weird :D
I think the internet read my blog post because right now I can't find any free trial for the games I've been playing, so right now I'm searching "free mac time management games" phrased and rephrased and I think I've found a good download of uh some game I HOPE IT'S FULL VERSION!
I've been spending the afternoon playing 1-hour free trial games, re-downloading the trial after the one hour runs out from another website while playing another free trial game and then when the second game is over I start with the first continuing where I left off :D
And I've played about 3-hours each for about.. four games? :D
hahaha I feel like such a cheapo, but I'm not going to fork out US$6.99 for a ... childish game (my brother asked me what I was playing and I said "warcraft" and he said "you mean BOREcraft?" ... WHATEVER) but I will fork out my time to play it again and again and again!
Looking forward to tomorrow (actually, not so much, sitting down for five hours gets a bit uncomfortable but then again I've spent the last few weeks sitting down forever) and WEDNESDAY! :D
OUTING WITH CRYSTAL THIS HOLS WILL BE IMPOSSIBLE AND EDA'S LEAVING ON MONDAY, TOO? ):
On a sidenote, you know how people answer when asked "Can you cook?" "uh, I can fry an egg" and you think their losers? (well I do) TODAY, I REALISED I CAN'T FRY AN EGG. (FML, to round everything up) because I don't dare put my hand near the stove, so the egg splats everywhere, it tastes undeniably good but then again, every egg that's been exposed to a bit of heat tastes this good too ): and it looks like. that.
Finding Nemo is such a sweet show, I cried to it omg, I've watched it 998078590123 times but this time I actually cried. And I never realised how funny it was till today!
I managed to wake up for Tenth Circle! Really nice, didn't really understand the starting because I came down late to a screen of a woman kissing two different people who looked kind of the same so UH, yeah okay.
And there's a brilliant lineup of shows today on Disney! (BECAUSE IT'S SATURDAY see I do know what day it is today! :D Holidays do not dissolve my brain, it uhhh melts it a bit.) Like all the DCoriginal movies Incredibles, Toy Story, Monsters Inc (it's always the same combination! ): ) with episodes of Upin and Ipin injected everywhere .___.
BYEBYE NINGXIN HAVE FUN AT CHEENA! Don't forget to visit your relatives! ;D AND REMEMBER TO BATHE HOR. yellow water or not.
Everyone's leaving! ): Ningxin today Amelia ytd MinChih monday (so you better go for dance on sunday) Crystal on 4th (?)
At least Jocie and Kim aren't going anywhere (jocie you aren't right!) so I won't be completely abandoned on MSN!
tag replies jolene HAHA I think I'm at 13 not 12 actually! I don't know why I said twelve AND YES I CHEATED FOR THEM ALL TOOO :D And I gave up for 13 because it's annoyinggg-ly hard to coordinate! ): amelia Couldn't have been awesome without me! :D OYA the cardigan! So you bought like, SEVEN things? spendthrift! HAHA at least you got the cash ;D yes we did spam each other but you didn't reply my latest email! (was it too short for you D< ) kim! awww don't be sad, be GAY HAHAHAHAHAHA aren't you already! no, it's invisible like that D: NINNY LOL you know this is actually my first maid with a generic name! the rest have been pretty unique :D wait, you mean now there's no one at home! .___. oh yeah you have no pets that need to be taken care of right bet they all died the day after you bought them! :D
THERE WAS A DEAD RAT OUTSIDE MY HOUSE OMGWTFBBQ ): ): ): ):
My dad said there was a bite on its neck (I didn't dare to go too close because rats breathe out rattish diseases!) and my brother said it was probably a cat or something, but I don't fully believe him because he didn't see it (HE HAS A BIGGER RODENTOLOPHOMEFELEPHOBIA THAN ME!) but what if it was a cat omg, that makes rats the most D-I-S-G-U-S-T-I-N-G creature ever and cats the second most for daring to go within a 2m radius of things like that.
blegh.
HELLO CRYSTAL YOU'RE HOME FROM KL! LOVE LOVE LOVE WE MUST GO OUT SOON!
And I'm falling in love with Send It On!
(I can't find a heart shape sign on fb - well not on what you see immediately when you log on - so crystal and disney songs won't get a heart!)
Go away rat, don't you dare ask or I won't be able to sleep today.
THE TENTH CIRCLE (YES THE JODI PICOULT ONE) IS SHOWING ON HBO FAMILY AT 8AM! I need to wake up early D:
Haha yes jocie I love caps they make me feel happy :D :D :D
And I will do tag replies soon, sorry! (amelia, the pushy person!) (NO LA LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE, YES ONE MORE THAN CRYSTAL)
crystal I love you very much too REPLY MY WALL POST!!! or you will be devoid of interesting information as to which person (or lack thereof) was kicked out of Singapore Idol!
OMG, fish bone stuck in throat! Old news really, since last night, BUT I THOUGHT I'D... SWALLOW/DISINTEGRATE IT IN MY SLEEP! ):
I think if it doesn't go away by tonight I will ask my mum to bring me to the doctor/HOSPITAL (you owe me answers weiyi tyvm :D :D)
Hmm it's the 25th of november already. I shall do some sort of a countdown. 5 days to hair appointment! 7 days to Pitstop Cafe! 11 days to NZ! 25 days to Singapore again D: 28 days to archaeology thing! 30 days to Christmas! 33 days to coy initiative! 34 days to CCAO! (omg I can't wait, souvenirs + stickers + booth setup!! :D) 37 days to New Year 41 days to Sec3!
THIS IS SO SCARY EVERYTHING SEEMS SO NEAR AND FAR AT THE SAME TIME.
And my email is unusually stale (stupid holidays), welcoming all spam please, I love reading emails! And FB is too stale too!
On a side note, amelia is a brilliant stalker! (no I'm brilliant-er)
Hmm and I need to perfect my 1) don't want to talk to you but no I will still be civil 2) don't want to talk to you so go away speeches and sentences, to sound nice, BUT HELL I'M ANNOYED. (hi friends no I love you very much I'm not talking about you I'm talking about... someone else, definitely not you if you're reading this!)
And I hate the strength that miscommunication holds.
Hmm my annoyed-ness are from two complete different situations (maybe more) adding up together, so don't assume/get the wrong idea ya.
2012 was awesome btw. I wonder if we'll remember about Dec 12 2012 in year 2012 itself!
NOT GOING TO GO OUT TILL WEDNESDAY, I HOPE EVERYTHING WILL BE SOLVED BY THEN ARGHHH. And I mean next wednesday, not tomorrow.
WOW, that's long. Nvm, hair appointment on mon! (will ruin my excitement of going out ever again)
WTFFF okay should have done as they did this is completely useless and pissing me off like vanbauew0pfdb,jna0wpdlmbkshw8reso.
(ignore me these few days okay, I'm feeling a little... more than I normally do.)
She spent like $120 haha, but the clothes are super nice! 2 tank tops, 2 dresses, some satin belt thing, shoes! I bought shoes, since went shopping with my mum on uhhh saturday already, and spent a lot a lot O:
Okay I can't really get into the happy mood to blog this, because emo music + sort of really bad dilemma, sorry amelia, the day was awesome, thank you! :D
[edit] hey monkey, be strong! ♥ we'll be here. [/edit]
I'm very confused now everything is a mess and I don't know how to put it in words? But I think the world is sadistically ironic when you hurt those you love because you care for them, but sometimes maybe they'd rather you not care.
:@ :@ :@ yes I really cannot describe this but no it's not good, and if you were thinking of it, please don't ask, but thank you.
3rd time at Burger King (yes the same outlet) this week (three consecutive days I tell you) I swear if I use the toilet at Burlington Square one more time the guard will give me a weirder look (of very obvious recognition) than he gave me yesterday. I bet even he doesn't work there for three days in a row D:
Thank you doob for that very nice (though very guilt-inducing) um, excuse, we will go out next week okay! And if you say no Char Amanda and I will drag you by your heels and it'll leave those marks on the floor like those typical whodunit movies with indents on carpets from chair legs. (nobody will try looking for you though hahaha :D)
So, 2012 on Tuesday instead, my sister says the effects are awesome (so not the type of movie you can watch online), I AM VELI EGSITED.
AND SETTLER'S ON FRIDAY, anyone up for a movie? No, not astroboy, hanjun, even though of course we'd like to see a "little boy fly around the screen in his underpants" I think it'll lose its thrill after a minute or so :D and why doesn't anyone want to watch Christmas Carol, I shall make my sister go with me (then The Mum pays)
____ TAG REPLIES! amanda LOL, no I am not talking about you! (don't flatter yourself ;D) Haha, THANK YOU, though not visiting it is your loss :D :D OMG, will you watch christmas carol with me! jocie haha aww you tag so much :) LOL I saw your (part of a) post for me too! ♥ Haha sorry, during ACP right! That was my, uh, third degree hahaha, I was super super pissed O: (and I think my pissedness passed on to eda and crystal and we all started pissinggetting pissed being angry. yes. next friday now! I booked it already but they haven't called to confirm, but I think I'll wait till like, tuesday, before I call to enquire :D I HAVEN'T GOTTEN THE VIDEO FROM HER EITHERRR. you realise even if we pass her a thumbdrive on like, friday, she can only return the next time we meet, which might be like, coy initiative on 28th! DECEMBER, yes ): haha, it was the one successful jumpshot out of like, a thousand, but THE LIGHTING IS AWESOME RIGHT :D jolene HALLO, HOW'S BOXMEN? you know i nearly finished 12 but then at the very end slow reaction = D: (we sound like no-lifers, but, heck) amelia EEYER that picture is for you to look at gay NEENGXEEN not me! (she has a solo shot because we left her out for the first pic ;D)
Snacking on fried chicken at 9pm makes me very happy :D It is my favourite fatty food, now I need to find my favourite skinny food and all will be happy.
Open House thing at Jurong today, going to and fro is tortureeeee, but the dancing was quite fun! Especially street jazz, I'm not going to forget that dance!
WenYing told us about it quite a while ago, but only got round to seeing it now, HAHA VERY COOL, I think the hardest part to figure out will be the feet? And he needs big jeans (or skinny legs, damn).
OKAY my eyes are dying now, I can feel every dry pore omgg. Had my contacts on since like, 6, until 11, WTF SEVENTEEN HOURS I'm so going to remove them now.
On a sidenote, I've made progress with Use Boxmen! Level 12 now oho (it is the greatest source of enjoyment in Times Like These)
I realise my day is seriously too routine, I come down like three hours after my sister who can't seem to sleep any later than 7, she's already hogging the TV watching horror movies/documentaries on dogs, (OMG the dog on TV was just asked "Riel, what's the square root of 9?" and it replied very happily woof woof woof!) so I turn to the computer and read through the entire live feed on fb, check my email, blog, and... read other people's blogs, which are so frustratingly dead ):
OH NO my mum's coming home with lunch now but I just ate my breakfast like, half an hour ago.
Mm I think I'll go book settler's now. THEIR NEW HOMEPAGE IS SO CUTELY... childish. I LOVE being a student, we get everything so cheap oho :D
And right now I'm surviving on looking forward to next year, and MAYBE a 4d3n camp ♥♥♥ And yes, I'm looking forward to buying breakfast materials, sigh, I think I shall google good milo proportions now :D
you see you can't please everyone, but you got to please yourself
GOOD NEWS, GOOD NEWS! Forty-three, and it's not going any higher, no it will not :D (Uh, if you don't understand what I'm talking about, please don't ask)
And if you've noticed, I've stopped blogging about what I do, because there's nothing to blog about -.-
DancePointe open house on Saturday, hope it'll be fine, but I think the highlight of the day would be watching someone dance, no? LOL. 2012 with Ningxin on Monday, Settler's on Friday, THANK YOU FOR MAKING MY LIFE THIS MUCH MORE INTERESTING.
What I will finish over the holidays: 1. I'll actually finish Use Boxmen, preferably without help, but I really doubt so 2. I'll finish up writing letters to awesome people, no letter = not awesome HAHA :D 3. I'll get around to researching on New Zealand so that when we actually get there we won't spend all day in the hotel/motel/holiday inn (though it sounds too appealing) and tour some spots! 4. I will finish up SHOPPINGGG for next year! 5. I will swim more often. 6. Room will be cleaned. 7. Less computer, more outings (not possible, with my maid returned to Indonesia my household has melted into a mess of unfulfilled duty allocations and paranoia-inducing safety issues (in my dad's case) so any chance of more outings is highly dependent on whether my mum can finally stay at home and take over my Guard Duty)
And now I shall get started on number 1! (Thank you amelia!)
My dad bought one of those film scanners that uh, scan films, so right now my life is wake up, scan, eat, scan, eat, scan, eat (three meals a day right?), scan, sleep. And a lot of blogging + fb + msn + tv in between, but that's not my point. (My point is that this is child labour)
And omg, the pictures from long time ago are SOOOO cute, like look at this of my sister and me! With one of our camp friends in the middle, though I can't remember her. [edit] Does anyone notice the shirt I'm wearing? YES, IT IS MY CAMP SLEEPING SHIRT :D [/edit]
And here's me and my camp group friends + camp mentor Miss Nora! (haha yes I still remember her name, she was very nice) And I'm the small one on the left :D I was the youngest at that camp, primary 1!
And this is my sister! Looking so rare-ly cute :D But the image is a bit blur, I didn't bother to clean the film haha.
Oh oh and PAX LODGE! :D I love Camp Christine.
Back to scanning, maybe I'll finish up with Fame too. Holiday life may be very peaceful, but hell, it's seriously boring. ):
DECEMBER 8TH COME QUICKLY I WANT TO FLY TO NEW ZEALAND FAST FAST FAST!
for the smiles, the laughs, the love and the fun we've had this year. 2009 wouldn't have been 2009 without each and every one of you forming such a great part of it. The photos are all jumbled up because you guys all share a very very large part in my heart, thank you once again and I love you all so much :)
Just finished watching The Game Plan for the fourth time, and crying for the fourth time. It's such a sweet sweet movie ♥
Hmm I'm trying to find Beverly Hills Chihuahua, since I'm not in the mood to rewatch Fame, argh I feel like such a movie junkie O: But nevermind, holidays are here and holidays = rot away at home until Laura is free and we can all go to Settler's! Maybe I shall drag Amelia out for a movieee tomorrow, 2012!
(I've been resisting temptation to watch it online so I can be surprised with the brilliant effects (or so I heard) when I do actually watch it!)
FINALLY edited all my links, and deleted all those which are now dead, I realized so many of them are gone gone gone! ): People like charmaine, why did you delete your blog, I liked reading it! (though this is old news, didn't you delete it like ages ago? that's ages of not reading it, oho, worse.)
Tried to link as many as I could remember that asked to be linked/relinked looong ago, but I never got around to doing it, so if your name's missing, tag to be linked/relinked! But I know I've done an awesome (and horribly tiring) job already HAHA :D
Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. Sometimes the smallest things mean the most.
Found it on jocie's blog. There's a lot more of this but I didn't want to copy them all because they seemed rather personal, but this one was really the most meaningful out of them.
I think it's something I should really work towards next year - being kind, being nice, and also, not getting angry too easily. I realised this year that when I get angry/pissed, there are... three very different types.
First type is when I only get very mildly annoyed and my anger (if you'd even term it that) goes away as quickly as it comes, and all is forgotten within the next fifteen minutes. And it's really obvious when it's this kind of "anger" because I go back to normal within five seconds, haha. And the only sign of anger is probably... furrowing my eyebrows? I doubt that's anger though, just... brief annoyance, but still something I should not experience too much next year.
Second would be when I get really really annoyed at something and become very irritable towards anyone who had the misfortune of speaking to me then; it hasn't really happened before but nowadays it's hitting full-on so if I snap at you or just stop talking after a while I am really really sorry and I don't mean anything okay! you could say it's PMS and you'd probably be right but no we should not be talking about stuff like that here, so. So next year I will really control my temper and even when my temper is at nothing at particular, I will make sure no one is at the brunt of it, and again I'm very sorry about the past two weeks or so, because that's the period where this type of anger has been coming around way too much, probably because of all the different things happening at the same time, like ACP and cheer and my own need for freedom when it's close to the holidays. Next year, hell, next week, no more. I promise.
Third would be the very very angry anger. But I'm not the type who screams and shouts when I'm angry, this type of anger is more of the stony silence, sit down somewhere, please do not talk to me or I'm afraid I might just bite your head off kind of anger. But it happens really quite rarely, and mostly only when I'm under a lot of stress and someone does something irresponsible or uncalled for that just sets me off, really. I know Crystal has this kind of anger too, haha, hers is the bite/grind jaw type though O: Ah well, at least no one has the scream/shout type, except maybe... minchih? :D So next year, I will really refrain from all this kind of anger, I'll try to lessen my stress as much as possible (considering Sec2 is definitely waaay less stressful than Sec3), and no matter what, I will not take it out on anyone, such as like, snubbing them in SMSes or MSN convos, or anything really.
Sorry for all those I might have hurt with the second type of anger during the past few days, I'm ... normal again! LOL
Resolution #1 for 2010: Control my temper no matter what and very more importantly, be nice to others.
HMTM is such a brilliant movie with a very touching plot and I love it so so much I want to watch it again and again and again and I doubt I'll ever get bored of it. Thank you scriptwriter/director/hannah montana.
you can change your hair and you can change your clothes you can change your mind, thats just the way it goes you can say goodbye and you can say hello but you'll always find your way back home you can change your style you can change your jeans you can learn to fly and you can chase your dreams you can laugh and cry but everybody knows you'll always find your way back home
Monopoly + guitar + pizza + bridge at Amelia's house no more ):
So instead I occupied my time watching Step Up 2! Couldn't remember so much of it; haven't watched it for who knows how long O: I tried watching it on the internet last time, but internet quality sucks and SU2 uses a lot of lighting and stuff so it was as good as not watching. Whoo I'm going to go to the j8 CD shop more often, and buy moreeeee!
OMG, I'm falling in love with the dance (not the song though), thanks jolene!
Hmm okay I just rewatched it and it doesn't seem that nice anymore ): I still like the part around 3:12 :D And Amber (after about twenty minutes of Learn-Who's-Who-Lesson by Jolene) seems too guy omgg. But her rapping part sounds damn cool (for a guy). Argh I still cannot believe that she's a girl.
Back to finishing up the end of HMTM, because that's how boring TV schedules are in the holidays. Though HMTM is very very awesome, maybe I should buy the CD too! (then I won't have to look at the hotness of Lucas Till through overly gigantic pixels)
Must be the result of Friday's pig out session ("who cares, last day of school!") + yesterday's guides cookies + today's burger king breakfast + carnival lunch + late afternoon snacking and later's dinner won't be very slimming either.
Argh I am very annoyed at my mum now she is demanding everything and snapping at everything and kaypoh-ing everything you are killing my high mood.
Monopoly + guitar + free pizza + BRIDGE D; with Amelia tomorrow, WHOO, I can't wait, thank you macdonald's for this brilliant newfound monopoly obsession!
And Retreat '09 is cancelled D: I wasn't too thrilled with the retreat-in-school idea, but retreat in school is way better than no retreat ahh why must everyone go overseas at different times!
I find myself looking forward to next year more and more and more, new books + new stationery + new class + renewed enthusiasm + guides camp AA everything OMG + new cheer dance = AWESOMEEEEE :D
I just realised that I find myself feeling sorry for her and it's weird because if our friendship even exists, it's as fake as it can get. And I think from this I realise that even if I might dislike what someone does, how she thinks, how she treats others, I can never really bring myself to hate her for who she is.
HI JOCIE, THIS POST WILL BE JUST FOR YOU (: & no, I'm not in love with you, I just heard those lyrics and they sound nice :D
RAAAAR hi mayo congrats on cheerleading! speaking of which how were trials today? uh uh farewell! >< i don't want to say goodbye again. and item! i hope it's a success. (i'm so obliging mayo aren't i)
hey you never replied my tag heh. about your last post, <33, don't worry i think it's human reflex. and don't worry it isn't *****y either i feel that way too sometimes >< ah it censored out my b-itchy.
haha THANK YOU! :D Trials.. haha they were better than on Friday; the auditionees were pro-er! (Since they were mostly callbacks, but nevermind, pro they are LOL) Yes I guess it was a success? Or as successful as it can get; I was so confused about the steps because of the changed lyrics! ): Yes you are very obliging awww (:
aww thanks so much (: ah well, we will get over it! And we will be awesome at everything else eh? :D haha I never knew my tagboard was so clean, it must be learning from me!
And since Operation Get-Mohini-To-Play-Monopoly has failed after about twenty very boring minutes (but no, I still wanted to play, she didn't), I shall resort to blogger/oddee/facebook/attempting to find a messenger app that can actually give iSight another purpose apart from camwhoring (though it's bloody good, too, but not good enough.)
Despite all the problems, stress, difficulties, schedule clashes, trouble and general unhappiness caused by Arts Fest, I think it was actually a pretty good way to end up the year, in that less formal way that allows you to properly enjoy yourself, but no, it doesn't cancel out all the preparation troubles though, not THAT good, LOL.
First day was cheer + 210's stall, cheer was awesomeee, it was really our final time we could do that dance (and only the second), and our only time to do it for the whole school. Argh it's really very quite sad that after nine months of hard work, it's over, and we won't get to even practise that dance again, now that the year is over and a new year, new theme, and new dance takes its place. But it was really fun as always, and even though I was super tired during the Hyori rest part I was like "okay last dance, last time, ever" and I started smiling very widely with my head still down; I think if Diane wasn't there and people saw me I'd have looked very creepy. And after that the comments and praise we got was so heartwarming - teachers, principals (both old and new) came to tell us good job, and this really awesome teacher commented on how it was both fierce yet feminine and it's really getting scarier and scarier how Crystal and I might not be able to live up to the standard WenYing Nat and ShiJin have created this year /: And I think we'll really miss them, I'm glad we managed to think up a present, and it is SOOO CUTE, I owe you a lot Crystal. Sorry I was very dead on Thursday night okay ):
And here's a picture :D (or four)
210 stall afterward, it looked really quite pretty with the high tables and table cloths and little ornament stuff on it (though no one really used the tables! ): ) Apple Crumble ran out reaaaally fast, THANKS CRYSTAL, I owe you Very Very Big Time /: Lunch okay? Haha we can go pig out at Macs for EVMs and play MacDonald Monopoly again 8D (you know that's the reason why I suddenly wanted to play monopoly recently!) Eclairs also not bad (though our trial session was undoubtedly better for all the food; very clear indicator of stress eh?), so was the uh, shit, I forgot what it's called, nevermind.
But CONGRATS 210, I think after 110 and understanding hence accepting that we really do suck in everything that needs talent, we appreciate everything we do get, like 3rd for Karaoke, Best Concept for ACP, and don't forget, OMG, WE ACTUALLY WON A MATCH FOR NETCARN! :D And I don't LOVE you 210, but I think I like you pretty much haha, these past few days have been so taxing and so :@ :@, I ended up getting pissed at the class but I think somewhere in my subconscious I'm starting to love 210 more. So, new classes don't seem that appealing; if I have a phobia, it's fear of the unknown (and cockroaches).
Guides Farewell was on Wednesday, I completely forgot about PE Shirt and Shorts so I went around borrowing 211's shirt and 209's shorts (very disgusting, but I would be a complete -embarrassing- standout in my pinafore during the performance). Sec1s did the L is for the way you look at me song, and omg, I think they spent very long thinking and practising the steps, because their Very Big Batch all knew the steps!
Then we did Hoedown Throwdown with this very cool lyrics 8D Yin Leng, Wei Qing Amanda Tan Awesome CLs They are the WAY And then it's Brenda Soh Put your hawk in the sky So very blur Sarah Nisa, Funny and nice
Jie Min, Eleanor Always have a smile and more then's Angela who's so friendly Like Vivien Joni and Jiayi 180 twist
And then it's Ra chel oh so bimb just like Xiao Min and Tong Miin Jane, Hanis, Cheryl too Always so enthu And cuckoo
Then Yu han, Gracia, Zann Very nice caring seniors And Alyssa And WoonKi Make the sec 4 batch complete
To the sec 4s (goodbye!) To the sec 4s (don't cry!) For all you've done (thank you!) Always remember That we love you
): It feels weird to not have them around. Like WAY seem so constant and CLs and now it's KAP (no, not kpa), they're also weirdly CL-ish LOL, but it's just weirder because they seem less.. old, HAHA, NO OFFENSE, but argh do you get what I mean? And then even though we've been having Guides without them for a while it'll still be a bit hard to get used to not seeing them around the school, AND I CANNOT IMAGINE SEEING MIDGETS MINIATURE PEOPLE WITH BLUE NAMETAGS.
Sometimes I look around and see people with things I want, not physical items but just... other things, and no, I'm not jealous, I just feel so inadequate. And then I feel so bitchy for feeling that because here I am sort of blessed already and yet I feel sad and sorry because I don't have that one thing more. Is it a human reflex and instinct to keep wanting more so that what, we can regret? we can wish? Because I know now that even when I wish it's just more of a heartbreak so I distant myself from it, I try to be indifferent, but no, it doesn't work. Maybe it's human reflex too to regret, regret, and regret even more. And I don't get why when I try to be happy about what I already have, I feel it, purely, for a while, and then what I don't have just cuts right back and reality hits me again and again but aren't they both reality? Why is it that when you compare the positives with the negatives the positives can shine so much brighter in quantity, in quality, but then again it's always that one mark that ruins everything isn't it? That one small thing that makes me think if only I hadn't done that, if only I realised and tried to change earlier then everything wouldn't be so harsh now. Because even if I try now, even if I pray, nothing's changing, I'm used to it, but that doesn't soften anything.
Oh god and even when I type this I find myself still wishing.
I think this weekend is probably one of the happiest I'll have for a while :D From Friday to Monday, yes.
Friday
GO WADDLE WARRIORS,
WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!
It was probably the happiest ten seconds of my life, Crystal and I were screaming and hyperventilating and high ten-ing again and again (though I think we missed about five times out of ten) and then AHHHH omg I am so proud of us, we put in this much effort and I had my doubts about Waddle getting Champion because of.. stuff, yeah.
But after that ten seconds it hit me how two other houses who deserved the top 3 placing SO MUCH didn't get it and I seriously don't know why because Richard was so synchro like they always are, and I think everybody loved their disc spinning and DJ-ing. But I really hope that they remember what Eenette said to them before the competition (sorry I eavesdropped) that it doesn't really matter what placing they get, they're just going out there to have fun. And I think that even though everyone wants to be recognised for their efforts, I think that everyone knows that Richard and Buckle were really deserving of the top 3 placing, who cares what they say.
As for Buckle, I heard and hence know for a fact that they were asked to rechoreograph their dance so as to stand a chance to win and if I'm not wrong they came back 6/7 days every week during the June Holidays. I think if anyone put in the most amount of effort, it's really them. And their choreography was so unique and everyone really enjoyed it and I know a member of their team had an injured ankle but still did the routine anyway, I think we should really all learn from this type of dedication, motivation and strength to pursue what you want. And Buckle, even though the placings don't reflect it, I know of a lot of people who really wonder why you didn't get it, as well as Richard.
Argh so actually this feeling is very bittersweet; I love that Waddle managed to get Champion, but I'm kinda sad that two very deserving Houses and Captains didn't get to share the joy on their Farewell Day.
As for the Farewell, I think the present exchanging is very... interesting LOL. I like the colourful hats from the House Capt Exchange, and I like the UG crowns! Argh and when I looked at all the Sec4s it really really hit me that their leaving like all the guides seniors WeiQing YinLeng Amanda Vivien Sarah and there's cheer seniors WenYing Nat ShiJin, and next year we're going to have to be the upper sec, seniors to half the school and I don't know if I want it? Because I really can't tell if we're ready.
And how Kim says that our batch doesn't have a clear leader, I'm starting to understand what she means -- like with the previous batches there were very obvious future CLs like WeiQing and Alicia and when the others also got the role it was like OHH, YEAH, THEY ARE SO CL-ISH, but for my batch I can't really envision anyone as taking on that role. okay, nevermind, I will ignore this until Striping and then I can go OHHH again.
Class Party after that, I LOVE YOU ARU, that cake was so so sweet (in both ways xD), you know contrary to one of my earlier posts, I think I really am starting to love 210 more and I think I'm going to miss 210, since, well, it's hard to be in a class for two years running without feeling a form of attachment toward it. Played a lot of weird songs, and and uhhh, that's about it I guess :D Oh and I attacked Cheryl with a lot of hugs because it hit me that I'll never be in the same class as her again (she's flying off to Taiwan.. today!) D:
Then we got back Progress Reports, then MinChih Eda and Crystal went to do their PSB measurement thing so I just hovered around and walked to and from between the pavillion and foyer until I saw Eda and Crystal come out from the direction of the hall -.- Not enough time to go Far East so Crystal MinChih and I just ate in the canteen, and MinChih kiasu-ly changed into Waddle shirt like half an hour before audition -.- Then guides fell in at the canteen and it was very scary and awkward because I was sitting in their line of vision and it seemed like I was ponning because I was unchanged and still eating so Crystal and I purposely took out our Waddle shirts and held it like a flag (or as much as a flag as we dared to) to say "I'm not ponning! Here's my reason!" Went to the Foyer after that, Rachel Nadia and Diane already there, and then suddenly this horde of auditionees walked in in their Waddle shirts and pinafores ._.
Rachel and Nadia taught the Extra cheer first a few times, then left them to practise as I taught two very nice latecomers! Then an insanely long part of Cup of Life, but since they chose that over the simpler dance, then good luck to them LOL. Discussed a while after that, and then whenever an auditionee walked past we were like "shhh!" hahaha.
Went for Guides afterward! Then Kim and Rachel bullied me into carrying this gigantic tent bag but I AM VERY STRONG TYVM. Round Robin-ed stuff we should and should not do, then we had to pretend we were in a tight dress and walk, then pick up a coin, then sit down on the bench! After that was balancing a book on our heads and walking to the green barrier and back; my head has very lousy balance D: And we managed to finish the whole thing ten seconds past limit, but whatever, it's good enough :D Then discussed Farewell Item, B11ATCHIES WHY HAVEN'T YOU REPLIED MY EMAIL D:
Went for Milk Tea after that with Amelia Nicole WeiYi (their names spell anw!) to do the Farewell Item but we spent more time playing OvenBreak but at least we got it done :D Didn't go home too late either LOL.
Saturday REASON NUMBER __ WHY I AM SO HAPPY: I GOT A NEW LAPTOP! And it is SO pretty and SO gorgeous and I love it so much and it can do everything so awesomely omgomgomg <3 Though my dad says if I want to keep it I'll have to get 3.8 next year or he will confiscate it/"get a new laptop" -.- BUT HELL, I'LL WORK MY BUTT OFF IF THAT MEANS I KEEP THIS.
Sunday REASON NUMBER __+1 WHY I AM SO HAPPY: dance class today!
Very coincidentally Audition Day too! :D I can't wait for auditions omg. It's been a year since my auditions! I still remember that it was super fun and then I forced myself to split for it and the results took so long to release that I gave up practising my split and now I'm back to very inflexible (only that now it's worse since I'm still cramping from Dance on Sunday and I can't touch my toes and there's Arts Fest prac tomorrow??)
But argh I'll be missing Patrol Corner and Coy Initiative which is going to be "very fun games", only back for deportment conduct thing D: And missing IHG games too hmm maybe Crystal and I will chiong badminton for an hour then go for prac :D
AND, AND, RESOLUTIONS FOR NEXT YEAR! 1. I will get a GPA of above 3.6 for MYA and 3.65/3.7 for EYA 2. I will listen in every single class even if Singapore Idol is playing on the back of my eyelids. (OMG, IT'S ON TODAY) 3. I will take notes for every single note-take-able subject, and they will be in their special little notebooks, not on foolscap/my current crap notebook. 4. In fact, I will NOT have a crap notebook, or everything will end up there. 5. But maybe I will have a crap notebook because if not I'll end up doodling on my good notebooks, BUT AREN'T CRAP NOTEBOOKS SUPPOSED TO BE DISTRACTING, BUT I CAN'T MAKE MY GOOD NOTEBOOK CRAP! 6. I will make good decisions. fast. decisively. very much so. 7. I will watch more TV/YouTube because that's the only way I can stay sane what with all that note taking. 8. I will have absolutely no negative connection whatsoever with the PB. i.e., not a single booking or I must not watch a single movie for the NEXT TWO MONTHS. Yes, that shall be my very harsh punishment. 9. I will watch at least 10 movies! 10. I will save $5 a week. $50 a term yes, ouch. 11. I will prioritize well, but I will not prioritize to the point that I completely neglect other stuff. 12. I will put in the bestest best effort into GUIDES, and CHEER. And I will do this such that the effort I put in for both shall be no different as compared to if I only have one commitment and nothing else.
And I will continue this list later on.
Should I quit third lang! I have been very intent on it to ensure that I don't spend (waste) too much time on it so I can focus on other stuff, and the lessons are insanely boring BUT BUT my parents were like "your third lang is why you did well this year" so marks-wise I should never even consider dropping it, but in terms of enjoyment I should drop it. And everyone always says that what you enjoy is always better than what gives better results since it's the process and rather the results that matter in the end right? But times like this it just doesn't seem that easy a decision to make; what you preach isn't always that easy to practise so I really am lost now.
I fully suspected today it'd be out because well past the proposed date of week 6 + wear your house shirt day = release results so we can cheer/cry as a house right?
Mm DC today, felt just like an exam because it was so quiet (or as quiet as we can get) and we had to answer questions, only downside was no sleeping but at least we could doodle everywhere. My DC reflection sheet was very ugly because I drew ugly stuff everywhere (I don't even know what I intended for it to turn out as) but I realised if you make yourself spend 8 minutes on one question everything will be over very soon :D
And Mrs Hoo's talk/sec1s staying in the same class next year; I remember when I found out we 110 would be 210 I was very emotionless because frankly I don't think anyone in 110/210 has a huge attachment to the class, but I wasn't sad or anything because at least we still know each other and close friends stay... close haha. But now when I heard the sec1s cheering it just felt very, uncertain, in a way, because we don't know what class we'll be in, who will be in our class, how it'll end up; heck, I doubt I'll even know like half the class on a personal level? So it really is very uncertain, new, and every other synonym there is to that. At least I know for sure I'll have Crystal! (yes I love you very much) But TripScienceGeog seems very not popular as compared to how popular I thought it'd be -- I think ever since my brother chose that combination I just started feeling like as though everyone did (no, brother, I do not love you).
ACP Prep today was so-so, I LOVE YOU MISS HOU THANK YOU FOR HELPING US BOOK EVERYTHING! Finished teaching Not Like That, decided to scrap Crash because very little time left; still left with candyman! And a whole lot of practice. And costume decisions. I like our class layout so far, the swirly cocktail tables are awesome, but I think once we cover them up they'll look odd and poky but so long as we know what it hides and so long as what it hides is pretty, then everybody's happy!
Should I consider going for the Cambodia field trip? I don't think I should because I'm already applying for Ontario next year (and the guides house hasn't replied!!) and Chalet this year and NZ this year too so applying for Cambodia would just be... too much away from home haha I love my bed :D
Argh argh, why isn't today Wednesday, I am suddenly in a Singapore Idol mood! Nevermind I shall watch SYTYCD episodes instead!
And just when I thought everything had settled down here you come and do that and say that and I ask myself, would a friend do that? Are you a friend?
